Showdown

Well, I had a bit of a tense showdown with our chauvinistic, immature director of our organization yesterday. I maybe did get a bit too excited, but in the end it all worked out. This is a bit of a rant, but you will understand just a bit of the outright hostility and intimidation this man uses with us on a daily basis, when he isn't ignoring us.
So, I along with my supervisor (woman), Stepahnie (other woman intern) and the Vice President of the board (woman) have been invited to attend a review and revision of three gender training modules that we pay a company of consultants to deliver to our coops. It is taking place over 2.5 days near the city. Because we knew that we would encounter problems, we had the Vice President ask the director (usually the board members direct the work of the organization....but not here) if we could attend. This was at the end of the day and we were waiting in the lobby outside his office for our taxi to arrive, soI was sort of eavesdropping to hear what he would say. The first thing out of his mouth was "no" he looked at the paper and said "no, it's not necessary for them to go, what is their experience". So, I have to admit my blood was boiling a bit. He came out fo the office with her and the look on our VP's face was also so ticked off. So, he said to us that we couldn't go. So, I asked "why not?" (nobody every questions him) He puffs up his chest and looks all pompous and says in a very condescending tone "What experienc or expertise do you three have to contribute to this" It was more the manner in which he said it, adn I saw my manager immediately shrink to his comments and I just exploded. How could you say we have no experience, gender equality is my expertise and Cinthia is completing her Masters in Gender and Education, how could you say this. He goes on to say that Cinthia hasn't even started her masters (which she has been doing it for months and her knowledge and engagement in the issues have grown so much) and therefore she really doesn't know anything. It was interesting to see the effect on her, she has been working at the organization for 8 years and he has always bullied her, so she automatically said well I don't have a lot of experience and completely underminds her own skills. This perfectly demonstrates the need for the type of training we are going to review, the men in our org are always saying women are free to join the board or coops, etc etc. Yes they are, but when they are constantly told they have no skills, this doesn't exactly instill confidence in anyone. Anyways, he goes on to start a rant about feminists and this one org that they don't want to work with because of their feminist philosophy. I interjected and said that the feminists were not involved and that it was important that we go, because right now FECORAH (my org) is spending money ($80/participant) to send our members to sub-standard workshops and it is therefore in the interest of FECORAH and its members if we are there to represent FECORAH's views. He was going on about other things and then started to say that FECORAH has a vision and therefore we don't need to be connected. We asked what is FECIRAH's vision on gender, he said we believe that gender needs to involve men and women and not just women (this is the vision....more of a definition but whatever) My organization is completely 100% against any sort of women only programming. Anyways, in the end he did this 180 and said yes we could go and made it out like he never had a problem with it in the first place.
I am a bit afraid that I overreacted a bit, because I am sure staying more calm is the better way to deal with things, but I just couldn't. We wouldn't of been able to go if I hadn't of stood up, so i am glad I did, but slightly worry about the reprecautions. I might have to be super nice today (how I would hate to do that...) Our organization is no messed up, the next President of the org told me in the lunch room yesterday ( and wouldn't give up) that myboyfriend must be cheating on me at home, because there is no way a man would go 6 months without sex. He just wouldn't give up on it, I just wanted to blurt out that not every man has a mistress and this is not an acceptable thing. The tensions on the board were so bad last year and the VP was so excluded and bullied that she ended up having a stroke which the doctors related to stress (not sure if this is actually what causes strokes) and the board was the only stress in her life. It is ridiculous. Howver, now that Rigo (chauvinistic director) has said that FECORAH has a vision I feel I could use this as an entry point. Especially when some funders are threatening to pull funding if they don't start to include gender in their projects (not my idea about how to go about including gender activities...but maybe it will work in some superficial fashion). What a day. The other things is that in the office I am super quiet and very laid back, so the look of complete shock on everyone' s face when I was standing up for us was priceless. Must remember to stay calm with him, because when I get agitated my Spanish is also a lot worse and not so elegant and persuasive...but I got the point across.
AHHHHHH!!!! The battle continues, good luck women warriors!